coming home

i'm from a little suburban town in utah, population 17,000. it's a city called highland and i grew up there. usually when i'm talking about home i'm talking about highland. it's where my family is, where all my neighbors are familiar faces, and it's a place where i know all the roads by heart. most of my memories start there, and continue to grow every time i go back.

photo taken by Harrison Brink

this past year, i moved to rexburg, idaho. and i think it's kind of funny that anytime i'm in utah visiting, i'll refer to rexburg as "home." rexburg is where i keep my things, most of my shoes and clothes are here. i live with five other girls and when i'm away from highland they are my family. we laugh together and take care of each other, and in the end i think that's why rexburg has become my home. 

this week i was reading about the prodigal son, and thinking about what it means to come back home and where home actually is for me. i feel like i've had the opportunity to put down roots in several cities in different states and countries, but when i think about where i really came from i have to reflect on memories that are nearly impossible to remember, but easy to feel. these feelings are still with me and help me know that there is a god and i once lived with him. he's offered me a place in his heavenly home, and it's mine if i choose to go back.

i love the story of the prodigal son. as i was reading this parable i started imagining myself as the prodigal. i’ve never been perfect, and there have certainly been times in my life where i’ve left and indulged in riotous living. i’ve squandered the blessings that i’ve been given and i’ve turned my back on the heavenly home i’ve been offered. but every time i decide to return, every time i have felt unsatisfied with my lifestyle, there has always been a loving father and savior there waiting for me. i’ve never felt like an unwelcome guest with them. i've never been shunned by them. and coming back has always felt like coming home because i know i'm being welcomed by someone who loves me.

thinking of myself like this, i try to imagine how other people must feel coming back and overcoming their own demons. if i am supposed to be like christ and have his name upon me, i feel a responsibility to welcome others back as lovingly as i have been received. each of us knows a prodigal, and honestly each of us has been one. the most important thing i think we can do is love the prodigal even when they are away from home. let them know they can always come back. don't pressure them, and when they make the choice on their own be the one to welcome them home. 

image taken from https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2011-10-055-the-prodigal-son?lang=eng  

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coming home is my favorite, because no matter how long i've been gone the people at home are the ones who are proud of me, who believe in me and who know and understand me. home is a place where i know i'll be taken care of, and i know i'll be accepted. i hope one day, i'll have a reunion with my heavenly father like the one the prodigal son had with his father. 

help thou mine unbelief

I have always loved the story of the man with his son, coming to Christ to heal him. I loved the way Elder Holland spoke about it a few years ago in conference. How sometimes we may believe but our unbelief is still there. I love that even though the man had doubts, he still had faith strong enough to overcome them and bring his son to the savior. There are times where I feel like if I could just have more faith I'd be able to do anything, or that if I had more faith I'd understand everything better, but what I learned from this scripture is that Christ will take me as I am and help me overcome my doubts. With him I'll be able to accomplish the things that Heavenly Father wants me to do and has planned for me to do. 

Sometimes I can't always see what he has planned for me, and often that's something really hard for me to overcome. I hate not being able to see the end from the beginning. But something I will forever love is that I am not alone on this pathway he's put me on. He will continue to guide me daily through any unexpected twists and turns and lead me to exactly where He needs me to go. After all these years of following the Savior, He hasn't led me anywhere I didn't want to go, and He's taken me further than I'd have ever imagined.